Black Men and Relationships: Are platonic friendships Possible?
Male and female relationships are usually classified into sexual terms or based on physical characteristics. What is so often lost is the dynamic of a very shallow relationship between a man and a woman.
The relationship between Black men and Black women is so often categorized by societal stereotypes of Black male comes across as rude and arrogant and Black women as demanding and cold. The same description is far from the truth that lies at the heart of multifaceted Black men and Black women have historically been hidden in their feelings under the ever present discriminatory assaults and societal stresses placed on them.
For Black people, in particular, the assaults have caused extensive damage to their growth and development as a man, wife and father, and equally important, as friends. There is a crisis about Black men and relationships that needs to be addressed.
According to the Center for Disease Control, total cardiovascular disease is more prevalent in Black men - about 41 percent - compared to 34 percent in Caucasian men. Also, similar to CDC studies show that Black men and Black women are two times more likely than their Caucasian counterparts to have a stroke and Black men are 60 percent more likely to die from a stroke.
These statistics are matched to the high rate of unemployment of people impacting Black and relations and especially no satisfaction adds to their stress and affects their social interactions. With higher rates of divorce and the growing number of challenges that Black people, not "dead beat dads, "face to get custody or visitations with their children, it is a wonder that Black men and relationships are at risk. It is a wonder Black men can have any kind of productive and positive relationships, especially in women.
However, Black men and the relationship is not a lost cause. Black men can have relationships with Black women that do not involve court battles, custody fights or total control issues. It's called friendship and Sometimes, it is the relationship that carries them through all the dramas and traumas in their lives and provides the oasis to reduce the stress of life.
I was taught that if you have at least one good friend, then you are blessed. Can I say I am very lucky throughout my life, but there is an good friends right from my left, he was my "big brother," my sounding board and one of my biggest cheerleaders and support systems and, equally important, I was his. So, I know that a positive connection exists in Black men and relationships and a Black woman can have a very superficial relationship with a Black man because that is what I had in my "big brother" and the best friend anyone could have, Mark R. Griffith.
Unfortunately, Mark's life was suddenly cut short in December 2008 from cardiac arrest due to a stress-based hypertensive condition. However, he filled the lives of those of us around him for 48 years he was here.
To my mother, Emma Waters Mereday, he is another son and part of our family. He believes in people and lived the fullest life. As an award-winning, broadcast journalist, he not only helped to bring the message to the community, he is inspired many messengers you see and read about today. We laughed, we cried and we just sit around and shoot the breeze. He always spoke to the king or queen "we" when we were hanging out eating exotic food or handling events in journalism conferences, it's always "we are going to do this "or" we need to address "and we supported each other when the chips are down.
No idea is too wild for Mark and he is always ready to say, "When did we start?" Ironically, the last "great idea" that "we" are involved in starting a projects to address health issues affecting Blacks in the media. It is always M and M Productions. Now, I cherish his memory and his friendship and encourage I first Black man, take care of their health and secondly, take care of all their relationships. Black men and relationships should start with friendships most of all!
For more information on the Mark R. Griffith Black Men's Health & Longevity Empowerment Project (MRG-HELP), operated by power cooperation Health, Inc. visit www.empowerhealthpartnerships.org.
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